What I can tell you, however, is what not to include. You, on the other hand, might be someone looking to attract a normal woman with fewer issues than Esquire magazine, which means I’m probably not the best person to tell you what to write in your bio. This is because I am a weird person with weird taste in men, which means I am most easily wooed by dating app bios that contain a baffling, absurd and/or sardonic one-liner, and absolutely nothing else. However, while I like to consider myself something of an expert in these matters - in college I majored in English with a minor in Tinder - I’m afraid I can’t be of much help when it comes to telling you what you should write in your bio. I tend to take a lot of pride in my own dating app bios, which in recent years have included standout lines like: “The last 22-year-old you’ll fuck before you decide to settle down with a mature, sophisticated 26-year-old,” “More issues than Esquire magazine,” and of course, “I’m sorry but my circumstances have changed and I can no longer afford to date men for free,” which ultimately got me banned from Tinder, and was worth it. Don’t take this personally, but your dating app bio could probably use some work.